Do I Have To?

We went to the children's hospital this week. I was strangely excited. This was our third trip, and my first with no apprehension. Those that know me well know I am not the biggest fan of hospitals, so it was strange for me to look forward to such an event. My group went to two rooms, praying for the children and their parents. The latter room was the "preemies" room, or the premature babies room. There were no parents present in this room, and the children were the smallest babies I have ever seen, yet infinately the most precious as well. I walked around the room, stopping at a baby lying on a cot in the back of the room. They had run out of incubators many children back, but for some reason, this one broke my heart. Swaddled in a blanket, his head in a plastic oxygen box, he breathed in and out. The lamp clamped to the side of his cot was aimed at his frail body to keep it warm, creating a makeshift incubator. I stood there, wondering in my head where to find an incubator in Guatemala, when God told me something I never expected in a million years to hear. You'll be here a lot, He told me. Here, in this situation. Here, in other hospitals, in other places, and you'll be helping. 

Yeah, I may have spazzed out a bit at hearing that. There is nothing I want to do less than work in a hospital. Send me to the garbage dumps or even make me clean the dolphin tank at Sea World first! But then, I felt an anger in myself, not at God, but at myself. Because, if that is how God wants me to help people, then why should I be picky as to how? I'm reminded that that was all I asked for coming on this trip; the opportunity to help people and to show Christ's love. 

So, if you see me working in a hospital in the near future, you'll know why I'm there. And I'll be joyful about it. 🙂