Half way there! Last week the team spent a few days in Antigua, Guatemala for a mid-way debrief. It was so good; a time of refreshing, rejuvenating, and reenergizing. Focusing back on who we are and why we’re here. Antigua is absolutely beautiful, surrounded by mountains and with cute little shops and markets. Most of every day was completely free for us to just have fun, maybe a little shopping or volcano climbing. The time flew by. Last Friday night we arrived back at Casa Verde here in Puerto Barrios after a long day of riding busses. A worship session was in order before bed and what we thought would be a nice little time of singing songs turned into two and a half hours. Let me tell you what happened.
As most of you know, I’ve been walking through this weird time of disappointment because of not seeing my little baby, Lourdes, again. He has been moved from the children’s hospital and I was told he was taken to the orphanage my team regularly visits, but he hasn’t been there. I haven’t seen him in a month. My heart is still bound to that baby in ways I can’t explain and I don’t even really understand, to be honest. The last word from the Lord about it I had gotten was to wait. But this night was different; God showed up and He showed out.
We opened the night with prayer and I remember being so torn. In Antigua, the wound and hurt had been reopened. Lourdes was on my mind. I spilled my guts to God and ultimately, my prayer turned into something like this: God, I don’t understand how or why, but I love that little baby. I want to hold him again! That’s the desire of my heart! You said when we seek after you, you will give us the desires of our hearts. Here’s my desire, God. It’s not selfish, please fulfill it!
And worship began. About an hour later, something crazy happened. I was sitting on the floor, just listening and singing when Jullian, one of my team leaders, came over and began to pray for me. The Lord spoke. Without knowing what I had prayed before, the resounding theme being spoken over me was that God hears the desires of my heart and he sees the desires of my heart and MY HEART DESIRES WILL COME TO PASS. I bawled. Never before in my life had I felt like God was speaking so clearly and directly to me. He has given me this desire and He will fulfill it.
So, I’m still waiting, but now with a hopeful anticipation. I will hold Lourdes again, there’s no doubt in my mind, just a matter of time. I was reminded of how deeply personal God is. He hears my prayers even when a billion other things are going on in the world and cares enough to respond directly. Oh God, you are so good. Know that the Lord of the universe hears your prayers too. He really truly hears them andlistens. He’s waiting to answer you. God, you are so so good.
“Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”
John 11:40
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