Love and Discomfort

When I was told that I would be working at an orphanage for the next two weeks, I was stoked.

Yes, I love working with kids! I thought. We'll get to run around and

 play games and just be crazy!

However, when told it was an orphanage that houses people with cerebral palsy, my whole attitude changed. I transitioned from being excited to nervous; confident to unsure; comfortable to uncomfortable.

When we got to the orphanage, a few of my teammates jumped in: hugging, kissing, patting heads, and talking to these kids. I was overwhelmed. How were they all so confident? How did they know how to interact with these kids?

After a few minutes of standing in the background, too unsure of myself to do anything, I decided to pray (Finally, right?). I prayed that God would take away any insecurities I was feeling. I prayed that He would help me set aside my fleshly abilities that I find confidence in and to rely completely on Him.

That's when He sent me Aleida.

Aleida immediately won me over with her big, gorgeous eyes and her dimpled, giggly smile.

I spent all morning with Aleida, getting to know her without even conversing with her. She spoke with her eyes and showed love through her actions. I completely forgot all of my insecurities when I was with her.

After lunch, we cleaned the kids up and put out mats for “nap time”. I got frantic as I looked around and could not find Aleida. I searched and searched along all of the mats, but she was nowhere to be found.

I started to get upset. Aleida was the only comfort I felt I had at this place.
I started to pray (with a rather complaining heart, I admit). Through the midst of my fear and complaining, I heard Him say,

“Just rely on Me.”

When I once again abandoned my faith in myself, he sent me another angel named Diego.

Diego and I immediately bonded as we sat on the mat, dancing to Gangam Style and laughing at anything and everything. It amazed me how well Diego gave love without even being able to speak.

When 3:00 rolled around, I was very reluctant to leave. I already loved these kids so much and couldn’t wait until I got to spend more time with them.

Walking back, I remembered how I felt going into the whole situation. I was amazed at how God took away all of my fears. That’s when it hit me:

God puts us in uncomfortable situations for a reason.

He provides them so that we will abandon reliance on fleshly abilities and rely more on Him. When we are comfortable, we don’t feel the need to reach out to God and ask for His help. However, when we’re uncomfortable, we abandon our confidence and pride and rely on God. This realization gave me a brand new outlook on things. I used to dread discomfort and the unknown. Now I long for it, because I know that I am more inclined to grow more in Christ through it.