My blog from last week didn't post like I thought it did so here it is:

This week has been the hardest week for me so far.  I had a hard day last Saturday and when we got back to the centre we had some team time.  We got together and started praying and had some worship.  One of the girls had come into our room and sat down beside me.  After I prayed,  I started to cry.  She comforted me and held me until I stopped crying.  I remember feeling overwhelmed with that.  I felt like it was a bit twisted, having her comforting me instead of me comforting her.  What kind of love was this?  God's love.  Last week in my blog I talked about being intentional, I can honestly say that I have been exactly that this week.  I have had quite a few intentional conversations this week and I think it may be leading to something great God has in store.

This week has also been a week where I really miss home, my family and friends.  I have been dreaming about them every night which makes it harder.  At the same time,  I know I am where I need to be, and I am happy here.  

There has been a lot of stuff going on this week. As I  have mentioned earlier, there have been orphans here who we have formed relationships with.  They honestly felt like younger sisters and brothers away from home.  On Wednesday, we found out that two of them, Bqsa and Sut (brothers) had gone home out of the blue.  We had no warning sign, and no goodbye.  Another boy, Pea, left at the same time because the other boys were leaving.  On Thursday, one of the older boys, Doum, left without a goodbye as well.  Later that day, Che Oun- our beloved little sister also left.  We had all adored her so much and we didn't even get to hug her one last time or tell her we loved her.  It is hard when someone leaves without a goodbye.  Yesterday, another boy, Lucca was leaving.  This boy had the greatest smile/laugh you would ever hear.  I did find out about it just as he was leaving so I did get a chance to hug him and say goodbye.  In Cambodia, as long as kids have parents, they have full rights to them no matter what kind of parents they are.  If the parents want their kids back, they get them back.  As the boys grow older, parents often want them back for labour.   Knowing that they were pretty much left on the street and now they are going back to a bad situation is not an easy thing.  It's heart wrenching to feel powerless.  It's difficult to know that there is nothing you can possibly do to fix the situation or help in anyway.

Setan Lee and his wife, Rhanda, came to the centre for the day.  Setan is the president of Transform Asia.  Hearing him talking to us about how Transform Asia started, the first groups of women, and backround stories was great to know- but emotionally draining as well.  Only two women survived in one of the first batches of women, the others died from HIV.  This was so hard to hear- but it also makes me thankful to God that the girls that I know and love don't have it.

Although things have been emotionally hard for me, I can see God testing me, teaching me new things and showing me his love in a whole new way.He is truly showing me that there is joy in the suffering.  I am depending on God and leaning on him more than I ever have. And for that, I am thankful.

Me and my team mate Courtney