Walk to surrender

As I was told to write down what I need to surrender to God, I kept coming up with these shallow answers; pride and selfishness being the main concepts. I had my answers down, and I was about to easily get up and take my 'stick of burden" through the woods.
That wasn't right. God said no. He told me to sit with Him until I really knew what to surrender. I didn't want to go through this, but I knew I had to. I knew God wanted me to.
i will say this, the first few days of training camp have been extremely challenging. I was bothered by something,but I wasn't really sure why. At this moment, I felt like God wanted to tell me, all I had to was listen.
I was struggling with not taking on a leadership role. For the majority of my life, I have usually been an unspoken leader, more so in a Christian environment. I was jumping into a role I wasn't familiar with, as a participant. This was completely new to me. It wasn't comfortable.
I sat with God and prayed. He showed me that he doesn't want me to be a leader, or a participant. He doesn't want me to be an introvert, or an extrovert. He says this to me, "Shad, you are my child."
I am a child of God! What else do I need? God has accepted, currently accepts, and will always accept me. I don't need to look for acceptance in others, but to realize that God is where I find my acceptance.
Being a leader is an easy way to find acceptance in others, and in yourself. It is a very easy and selfish mindset to fall into. I was being selfish and full of pride. This mindset, that I had to be in a leadership role in order to show others the Love of God, God's Word.
I had to release my pride in order for humbleness, humility, and Jesus to enter my heart. Release to receive. It's such an easy and difficult thing to grasp. It's a concept that I have to die to the works of the flesh in and let Christ fill my soul.