I wish that I could write a compelling blog to captivate your attention and explain to you the events of this week but for some reason I just can't. I am overloaded so many things… culture, emotion, God, injustice, community, passion. The list could continue on and on. So forgive my wandering thoughts. At times I may stray. But I will do my best to string together some of the thoughts and emotions I am processing.

My heart is alive and aware of the emotions it shut out for so long. My feet are dirty from wading through murky water everyday. My eyes are different. They carry the images of injustice and poverty behind them. Those pictures will never leave. Once you see certain things they stay imprinted in the walls of your memory. Or at least they should. Just like so many told me over and over, I am changing and becoming a new person. The hunger for justice and God's Holy Spirit to work through each of us is growing each day. In Matthew we are told that those who hunger and thirst for justice will be blessed. So why aren't we walking confidently in this everyday? It is easy to become discouraged looking at what the world has become and let it deter us over and over from moving forward. Its time is over. It is time to move.

Spiritual warfare is a daily burden but one that our team is learning to take on in confidence and with full faith of God's faithfulness to our protection. God didn't create us to live with a spirit of fear; so we refuse to. That is not to say there aren't moments where we have to cry out to God to help us walk out of that fear and know he will deliver us every single time. I am trying to continually grow in my capacity to comprehend God's true magnitude. I'm not sure to what extent that is possible but even the acknowledgement of inability to grasp that is something I think can fuel our relationship with him.

God isn't sitting watching us like chess pieces. Deciding where to move next and what strategies would work best. It is done. He is walking next to us and has each day planned with infinite detail. Unlike us, he isn't surprised by the things that meet our eyes along the way. He is steady and unwavering. He is solid the solid ground we need to stay upright. He has created a passion in us and has set this plan in motion. As a team we are starting to collectively discuss the fact that its time to start asking questions. Where are these women coming from? Who are the men buying? What are realistic ways to reintegrate them into Cambodian society? Historically we see the beginning of most social movements started by or pushed largely with the help of young passionate people. I don't want to grow old and listen as people look back on our generation and think….Why didn't they do anything? How could they not see what was going on around them? Its time to ask questions. It is time for a movement. God isn't only found in decorated churches or the hearts of stable church attending folk. He is found in the broken places. He is standing in the mud and stench. He's standing there waiting for us to find him.

"Beauty abounds in the broken places for that is where you dwell"
 

-A Once Courageous Heart