The Pharisee in Me

Proverbs 21:2"Every way of man is right in his own eyes, But the LORD weighs the hearts."
 
God showed me that I have a tendency to be a creature of habitand this can have negative consequences on my spiritual life. In our relationship with Him motions of repetitiveness can take away some of our passion in who we are and what we do as Christians. Let me explain.

In the morning when I first wake up, I formed a good habit of giving thanks to God and praying for the day that lies ahead. Over time it has formed a religious tendency in me. One morning I got up and didn't pray. As a result, I felt a sense of guilt because I didn't pray as soon as my eyes opened (guilt is not from the LORD).

This revealed to me that I was living in a place of performance  for God in one area of my life. This showed that deep down I was afraid that God was going to be upset with me if I didn't pray (that is not Jesus at all)and I got into this place that it was about what I was doing for Him as opposed to my heart's attitude.

These feelings sent me on a search for Truth that I may walk in freedomand not be bound by performance. God showed me that I believed a few lies. In my pursuit He reassured me as He showed me that He is goodand that His grace is enough.I could hear Him say that although there are some things that are not of Him in me that may look like a Pharisee, I am not a Pharisee. He reminded me of His tremendous mercies and outrageous love for me. He spoke my identity over me and reminded me that I am His son. In His love I am free. His faithfulness to me is not in response to my faithfulness to Him. He is faithful always, regardless of how I respond to Him.

Nehemiah 9:18-21 "Even when they made a molded calf for themselves, And said, 'This is your god that brought you up out of Egypt', and worked great provocations, yet in Your manifold mercies You did not forsake them in the wilderness. The pillar of the cloud did not depart from them by day, to lead them on the road; nor the pillar of fire by night, to show them light, and the way they should go. You also gave Your good Spirit to instruct them, and did not withhold Your manna from their mouth, and gave them water for their thirst. Forty years You sustained them in the wilderness; They lacked nothing; Their clothes did not wear out and their feet did not swell."