I had no idea what to write about this week.  I feel like I have to many jumbled up thoughts to present a thorough and organized blog, so I decided to write out a bunch of random thoughts I've had while in Cambodia. We'll see if this makes any sense at all.

Roots

Man, I've had a good life. God protects me and blesses me beyond belief.  For a while, I questioned, ''Why me? Why did he give my all this and plant my faith so deep?" I wondered why he didn't allow me to get beaten and bruised and tossed about the way others do.  But it's crystal clear to me now that God uses such divine protection in very unique ways.  No, I've never gone through abuse or addiction or heart wrenching tragedy, but because of how God's blessed me, I have firm, deep roots that  won't come out of the ground.  I need to recognize his mercy, thank him immensely for it, and run with it.

Get Off Your High Horse.

Pride is a beast.  I never realized how prideful I was until God threw me into a situation where my arrogance paralyzed me.  It's funny, actually, that he threw me into a group of children to humble me.  When it comes to kids, I'm clueless, and I feel like I have absolutely nothing to offer.  But, wait.  The truth is, I don't have anything to offer anyway. Even when I'm using my gifts and talents, they are not my gifts and talents. All I have is what God has graciously chosen to give me.  I have nothing except the gifts he freely gives.  I feel like you can't truly be humble until you recognize that God doesn't make us serve him, he allows us to serve him…yeah.

Where'd You Go?

Sometimes, God hides from us.  Last week, I felt completely numb and void of any emotion for a few days.  It really sucked.  I wanted to feel God close to me, I wanted to be blown away by Scripture, I wanted to hurt, if that's what it had to come down to…but it just wasn't happening.  The cool thing was that I was at peace through all of this.  I trust Him completely, so if He wants to confuse me for a bit, that's okay.  It's all just a testing, redefining and refining of our faith.  And when he reveals himself and I wake up and I can feel again, I see him in a new light–an even more beautiful light.

Acknowledgement

I don't pray enough.  I tend to forget that God is right here, waiting to hear my voice and marveling over my thoughts.  Hmmm. Our prayers have power, and God loves it when we want what he wants.  He doesn't always say yes, and we don't always understand his will, but by talking to him consistently, we get so close to him.  It's great.

Orange Robes

I got the opportunity to share the Gospel with a bunch of Buddhist monks this week.  Who knew? They had never even seen a Bible. I mean…God let me plant seeds in Buddhist monks in Cambodia…whaaaat? It's okay if I don't see the fruit of our conversations or our relationships.  I know that God will see the fruit and smile over it, and that's all that matters.

The trip is halfway over. I've learned a lot, grown a lot, seen a lot, pondered a lot, but I'm not done yet.  So, this is my motto (well, one of my mottos):

"Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." — James 1:4