Learning

We have now been in Guatemala for a couple of weeks now, and I can say that our time here has not been how I imagined it would be. As I settle in to life in Antigua, I find myself feeling more at home each day. I love Antigua- it is such a beautiful place. I am surrounded by eighteen wonderful teammates and I have so enjoyed doing life with them. But not every day is pure joy and perfection, as you might imagine. I have experienced joy and excitement, but also frustration and even a bit of sorrow. But through every whirlwind of emotion I experience, God has been teaching me so much.

Even before coming on this trip, God has been constantly teaching me to rely on Him completely. To trust Him in all things, especially when I cannot see or understand. To follow Him and obey Him, even if I don't know why. I guess it really just comes down to faith. Am I going to have faith in my own plans for success and my own ideas of what my life should look like, or am I able to give those to my loving God and trust His plan for my life? And I have found that every time I step out in faith and obey Him, He meets me there. And that is what has happened and is happening on this trip. I didn't even know why I was coming to Guatemala. I had never even heard of this organization before. All I had was a faint prodding in my heart from God. But after meeting my team at Training Camp, I knew that God brought each one of us together for a reason. We connected so well and each person brings a unique gift to the group and to our ministry here. 

So I finally understood why He called me to be a part of this team. But since being here, I have really struggled to understand my purpose here. One of the main reasons I have been struggling is because I haven't really felt connected to the people of Guatemala. I longed for real relationships with these people. After all, that is the whole point of my life: to love God and to love His people, no matter where I am at. But my expectations were met with many obstacles, one of which is my very small Spanish vocabulary. I found myself praying fervently and asking the Lord to open doors for relationships and reveal to me my purpose here.

Soon, I found God had answered my prayers! At a coffee farm ministry we were working at, I really connected with one of the workers there. On the long walk to the coffee field, we walked together and were able to communicate and get to know each other despite the language barrier. He taught me some Spanish using the little English He knew, and I taught Him some English using the little Spanish I knew. We had such a good time, and I left that day looking forward to spending more time with him during my time here. I praised God for how He answered my prayers and was opening up doors for me.

But the next day, I was informed that we were discontinuing our ministry at the coffee farm; I would not see my new friend again. I was so disappointed and even a little frustrated with the Lord. Why would He open this door, just to close it? I couldn't see and I couldn't understand what He was doing. I found myself crying out to God again. 

And this is what I have learned through all of my emotions: dependency on my Father and on prayer. He has taught me to pray to Him continually, because I am so desperate for His presence here and in my life. And He is faithful. Even when I can't see and I can't understand, He does. And He has a plan. And I can trust Him with all of my heart. And I am choosing to have faith that He has wild plans for my team and I here in Guatemala. Even if doesn't look as I think it should look, and even if we can't see the fruit of our work. Because honestly, we have not had the affirmation of seeing fruit from our work so far. But that in itself has taught me to trust in Him completely. I am called to do as He asks me to, and He takes care of the rest. 

This next week, I will be working in various high schools around Antigua teaching lessons of "Principles and Values" along with four other teammates. I am excited for this new door the Lord has opened, and I am having faith that He will use us in whatever way He sees fit. 

The Lord has been so good to me, and to my team. And He has been strengthening my faith and trust in Him here. Though the lessons are hard to learn, I know they are for my own good. And I praise God for challenging me and molding me, and always loving me!