My Reason to Be

     Over the two weeks I have now been living in Guatemala, those few expectations I clung to so feebly have vanished. Not quite vanished as in evaporate entirely, but more like shot down from the clear blue sky with .22 caliber rifle. Being enveloped by such graciousness and compassion by the people here was not what I had anticipated. But the most unexpected surprise probably came from which area my knowledge grew most— not in that about the country or the culture, the food or the language, but about myself.

     It’s funny really. While playing soccer earlier this week and upon discovery of my ability to speak very limited Spanish, a man named Daniel asked me to help him with his English. I remember he had gotten so hung up on the use of the word, ‘myself’. All of us native English speakers had much difficulty producing examples for Daniel on the spot.

     Well Daniel, here’s some.

     This week, I took time to pray for myself.
     I prayed that in myself, I would find the courage and boldness to reach out and speak God’s truth and light to those who need it so desperately. I asked that through God, I would make myself humble. I prayed that God would help me utilize this time to refine myself and to find beauty in all His creations.

     But most of all, I prayed that God would grant me the strength to act outside of myself. I need supernatural guidance to understand that I was not sent here to Guatemala in order to gain worldly experience, improve my Spanish or even to exchange my inhibitions for humility. I request multiple times daily, the Lord remind me that the reason I am here is to bring glory to Him and not to myself. 

     Here, it’s easy to forget that not everyone looks outside their window and can declare that He is sovereign. It’s difficult for me, on the other hand, to get it out of my heart and my head when I see the tumultuous waves of the ocean expand past the horizon and the mountains, blanketed by thick, luscious forest both exalt their creator. I’ve fallen in love here, with God, the land and the people. My reason for being is to make others fall in love too.