Week 5.

This week has been something wonderful and beautiful. The saying “time flies when you’re having fun” should be changed to “time flies when you’re doing what God has called you to”. Since finding my niche in ministry both at Transform Asia and on the streets during the evenings I suddenly find myself grasping for the time passing. Though I was always accepting of living in Battambang, I viewed it as a city in Asia where God had called me to. My heart found no deep attachment to it. Now I feel like I’m intertwined with Battambang. I have become part of the life here or maybe it’s just that I feel like I have learned how to fall in line with life here and have been given the chance to see what it is that God’s eyes are drawn to the city.

My reoccurring main battle through the recent years of my life has been the fight to allow myself to emote; to no longer deny my reactions to situations and just become void of any sort of emotion. The process of this being restored started months ago but has continued and really exploded in the past few weeks. Suddenly, I sit back from myself and realize how full of emotion and chaos my life is. But in a natural healthy way. I am aware of my surroundings and what my heart says. That’s not to say that at every turn I am balling my eyes out but simply that I feel.

Through this joy has become a new acquaintance of mine and I really enjoy its presence. Going out at night into spiritual and literal darkness brings an emotional burden. There is no way around that. But it is absolutely astounding to me that every single night I come home overflowing with joy. I may be broken and repulsed by the things I see, but I am also taken back in awe by seeing the Holy Spirit undoubtedly moving and I can clearly see what he is working. I can see the hearts he’s preparing to bring the God’s news to. Returning after these nights with abounding joy isn’t anything that we have somehow mastered. It is directly from the covering that God has placed over us. It is true that God equips us to take on what he has for us. It is true that his burden is light. I am awake spiritually and emotionally. Never in my life have I first hand, directly and undoubtedly seen the Holy Spirit move and witnessed God’s protection. I have heard stories but it is another thing to experience it directly in your life.

So this week I write to you knowing that my heart is alive. I have joy. I am falling in line with the steps that God has planned out for me. I am experiencing how real love is supposed to look and I am enjoying the blessing that it is. I don’t deserve any of this and I can’t earn it but he’s pouring so many different layers of blessings of me. I still have days where I dig my heels in or try to resist the tug of my heart when it surges but every day I choose truth… the truth that I am alive. I was created to feel these things not to walk through life numb. I want this and I imagine God is sitting there saying I’ve been standing with these things in my hands stretched towards you ready to give but I’ve just been waiting for you to take them. They were always yours, stand up and walk in this my love.

For those of you reading …prayers for continued restoration in the lives we see here every day is needed.
Specific prayers for a man named Bun Thoeun- that God will continue to soften his heart and prepare him to hear the words of Christ.
Prayers for the leaders and government here in Cambodia are something that so desperately need to be said. We are seeing more and more the results of what can happen when corruption takes control of a country.

Thank you so much for your support.
Miss you and can’t wait to see you and tell you all about these adventures Jesus has sent us on!