Careless Lover

I don't always seek God.

The times when I am seeking Him, aren't always times when I am really seeking Him.

Wisdom, healing, providence, comfort, direction, security, rest, joy; these are all things I have sought, believing I was actually seeking after God while doing so.

Days ago, immersed in worship, singing with all I had "How He Loves", I felt an overwhelming sense of contentment come over me. Singing, my voice cracks, horribly, and moments later, I am in tears, and at this point, I am in the most real conversation with God I know that I have had in a long time.

What I said exactly, I don't remember. What He said exactly, I also do not remember. What did I walk away with, though; what is the point of mentioning any of this experience?

It was revealed to me that I don't pursue my Father very much. Often, I get caught up in pursuing what He might have for me, which, are certainly good things, but, they are not Him.

God is taking this team to a place where we (leaders included), are pursuing Him. Our hearts ought to be in a place where we are knowing our Father, and knowing that we are known by Him. He must be enough for us if we are to go into the world and share such a word. We must be invested in this relationship as much as He is.

Sometimes sharing the same love you've received looks marvelous and grandiose, and sometimes, it just looks like playing basketball with Guatemalans, with a smile on your face, and joy in your heart.