July 14, 2011 | Guatemala

Finding My Own Flame

"I don´t wanna ride on somebody else´s passion,
I don´t wanna find that I´m just dry bones,
I wanna burn with unquenchable fire,
deep down inside see it coming alive."

This past week God has really beenspeaking to me and convicting me. I truly love living and working on the field. It is easy for me and I´ve been waiting all summer to hear where God is calling me next just like He called me to Guatemala in April. God has been telling me loud and clear that it is time to go home and speak truth and life into my family and friends. God brought me to Guatemala so I could fully and completely be surrounded by Him so that he could teach me how to speak His truths, to love like He does, and to see myself how He sees me.

From a very young age I allowed people to take things from me. I allowed others in my life to steal my voice, my self respect, my future, my hopes, and my dreams. Christ has given me freedom and forgiveness in this, but now I am learning that I have to walk in that freedom and actually step out of my prisons. I have to use this freedom for God´s purpose and not my own. Galations 5:13 Paul writes, "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, rather, serve one another in love."

To be fully liberated I am learning to forgive the people who have stolen from me and to forgive myself as well. I have also learnd that I need to claim my life back and everything else that was taken or given back to me. Every morning when I wake up I have to make declarations through Christ over my life. I am also learning so much from my team so that I can be the best me I can be.

We have recently been spending time in an orphanage called Eagle´s Nest and my heart has really felt at home there. I have had the privelege of teaching a P.E. class with three other teammates. Never before have I felt so passionate or heard God´s call so loudly about a group of people or a certain ministry. I have no idea where God will call me after I return home but I know it will be something spectacular. I´ve been asking Him to reveal secrets to me about my future and I am so excited to see them fufilled.