Slave to Friend

No regrets. I don’t want to look back and say to myself “I wish I would have” and I feel like that has fueled my obedience to God. I don’t want to have any regrets and I am committed to saying “yes” to whatever God asked me to do no matter how impossible it seems. The answer is always going to be yes. To say that I stand in awe over everything he is done in and through me and where he has taken me within the last couple of years is an understatement. I don’t even have words to begin to explain what has happened. I can only laugh because it’s been so full of love, life, restoration… so full of God and all his beauty. It’s been beautiful.

I know that in a couple weeks, when this trip is over, it’s going to be marking an end to one season and a start of something new. I have felt things starting to shift and change for awhile now. It’s the end of something beautiful but the start of something even more spectacular. I have been asking God for the last couple of months what is next. I have had so many opportunities come my way, awesome things that would bring me so much life, and I keep asking him if I should take one of them. Which path he wants me to take but he just sits there, smiles and shrugs his shoulders. He doesn’t say a word or even give me a hint. I have gotten so frustrated because I don’t know which one is best and there he is just smiling. I realize that he wants me to choose. He is asking me the question of what I want which turns out to be a more complicated question then one would think. I wish he would just tell me what to do and then I will be obey, in a heartbeat. No problem! But he is not going to do that.

Slave to friend. That’s the process I am in. I am no longer thought of as a person who needs to be told what to do but is seen as a trustworthy friend. He has placed all of these things in front of me and has asked me to choose. It’s so honoring, humbling, and incredible but it is also really heavy. What do I want? Is this going to be best choice? I am definitely learning how to trust myself.

We so easily think that there is only one path for us and we have to be careful not to miss it or to stray too far from it. I am now realizing that it’s more like an open field. Go and explore.