God has given me inexplicable joy after a few really hard weeks. I kept asking him to fill me with joy and I kept getting frustrated that he wasn't. What I realize now that I could not see before, is that he had to make room for his Joy to fill me up. Making room was painful. But it was ever so necessary. I hadn't realized that by looking to other things to assure my value, my beauty, and parts of my identity, I wasn't allowing God to have space to work in my life completely. I wanted Gods blessings over me, but I hadn't allowed him to actually have his way completely...

We just returned from our mid trip debrief where we had a time of relaxation from and reflection on all the craziness of the past two months. I figured I share some of my reflections with everyone who's interested.  In the past two months God has affirmed that I'm always accepted by him, no matter how badly I miss the mark. I'm always loved and he always wants me with him, even when I'm at my darkest. I'm a new creation in him, the old one died and the new one is alive now. I'm still imperfect, but my imperfections are only old habits that will die in...

In a few hours I will be heading to a little refuge tucked away in a little niche on the outskirts of town.  This is where I met little Locia, a girl with an independence that defies her size.  She is one of the residents of this beautiful well-kept orphanage.  Locia has taught me a lot about love.  Thing is, she doesn’t want anything to do with me.   When I first met this little one, she sat at a table on a sunny afternoon, as several other children colored, staring at the wooden boards in front of her.  The sun shown on her disinterested face,...

I knew coming into this trip I was going to stand out. Pale skin (so pale I sometimes glow), red hair, freckles, and bright blue eyes. I stand out everywhere, but in Latin America, this is amplified. I knew people would stare, I expected that, but I did not expect to be affected by it. And I definitely didn’t expect to learn from it.  Walking anywhere was not fun, consistent catcalls, yelling, and stares that gave me chills. I hated it. I hated going anywhere. But one day, after a little breakdown I decided to ask why. Why did God want to walk me through this? How could God...

     She pulled open the broken screen door that clung onto its last little hinge and revealed a dimly lit room that housed a single cot on the far wall. My group of six squeezed into the tiny room. And there sitting on the cot was one of the most tragic sights we had yet to see.      Rewind. March 4, 2013 the first Monday of the month, my team had been told by our contact to be ready at 10am to start our week of door to door evangelism. A local church called Rey de Reyes asked to partner with us to reach the community.       ...

God called me on this trip knowing that I could speak Spanish decently, not fluently. While at the children’s hospital, I went into the little girl’s section first. I made friends with one little girl who had an overwhelming cast on her fragile leg. We didn’t have much conversation; we mostly played with her doll. Her face lit up as I began to play with her. The next little girl I went by was crying nonstop. I tried to talk to the woman who was with her, but she informed me that she was only there to keep her company because her family hadn’t visited her in a...

Hello Friends The last few days (actually 2 months) have been a time of reflection and revelation. Of surrendering and being filled up. And one thing that God has called me to lay down is my FOCUS. There are many times that I focus on me, from every day issues to spiritual things. I think about me and my struggles, what I have done wrong, what I need to change in the future, how I will reach certain goals, and how I will grow in my relationship with the Lord. But that is pride and therefore I am acting in sin.   But God is calling me to be the CLAY. Isaiah 64:8 says that “And...

There is something about a hot shower, a perfectly foamed latte, and the access to peanutbutter that has the tendency to make an already great day just that much better. Alyssa and I went for a walk through Antigua yesterday and we enjoyed the absence of cat calls and the very common sighting of  white, English speaking people. ( it being Holy Week brought a huge amount of Americans/ non Spanish speakers). We were aimlessly wandering and just popping into shops when they grabbed our attention. In the back of our minds, we were also on a mission to encounter some peanutbutter and...

      Left abandoned and alone in this BIG world, only looking for someone to consistently love them every day and not leave like everyone else. The feeling of just being wanted rings through their minds like a Grandfather clock every hour, constantly reminding them they no one wants them. This is only the beginning of what I can imagine these children feel that I see every Friday at the orphanage.       Setting this precious boy back in his crib and leaving him there, screaming and crying I couldn’t help but feel like I was everyone else in his life. He...

I'm learning the definition of living a life dead to this world. It stems from singing songs with old people, playing futbol with kids from the dump, playing with baby orphans, and sharing the gospel with random strangers. My life will be a life of God's faithfulness and so will yours. You need only give your heart, mind, soul, and strength to God; it's already His, so you are giving Him His just reward. I will share a quick story: Tonight on March 14th, God showed me so many things. I was created to be justified, sanctified, loved, saved, and to experience His presence full...